It's not the "Thing", It's the "Who"

Rich Bentz

Student of Life

January 21, 2018

It’s The “WHO”

On this lovely Sunday morning in January 2018 while my wonderful lady love and I sit enjoying our morning brew, she sparked a memory of a concept for me that she insisted I share.  So here I write my latest love letter to our Tribe. 

I have spent my lifetime engaged in many activities from working in a grey iron foundry as the pattern maker, or waiting tables and washing dishes, to a Radioman/Cryptographic’s technician on a US Navy nuclear powered sub, and around a hundred other things in between them. All of them were their own special kind of wonderful challenge, each beautiful to me and I wouldn’t change a thing because I have learned so much!  I’ve been inspired by each and every job and task and have completely loved the many valuable people and lessons life has shared with me through it all.  Yet the single most valuable lesson that I have learned is this:  It’s not the “thing”, it’s the “who”.

I know, I know, now you’re thinking I’ve slipped a disk and need a head restart because that just doesn’t make sense!  Our world in this earth is often very confused about its priorities, and often this is by design.  After all, the people who appear to run things in this manifestation seek control over everything and everyone, so naturally they use all the various tools available to steer us each into a “life path”, so to speak.  While on the surface this may seem innocent enough, and often useful, it actually does us each a massive disservice. If left to our own devices we each are equipped with the basic tools necessary to discern our life purpose for ourselves.  Having our culture impose its own understanding of things on us through its many varied and diverse institutions can streamline the process, and while often helpful, it most often actually leads to a life of drudgery saturated with a sense of emptiness and lack of fulfillment.

I was a challenge for my family.  My parents had a sense of my intellect and capacities, yet I performed poorly in school, lived what they felt was a lackluster life, and seemed generally unsatisfied, and depressed.  They sent me for aptitude testing and evaluation with the Johnson O’Conner Research Foundation here in Tulsa to see what might be going on in my head and heart. 

The results were unusual. I tested with aptitudes for every kind of challenge, all above 50% capability!  This is so rare that they have found fewer than .1% of the population tests this way, and they have tested hundreds of thousands. They identified me as a “genius”, and explained that other definitions of genius were guided by a narrow and extreme capability or two, and not as broad based as mine, so they were challenged as to how to help me!  They said that in order to live a fulfilling life I would have to use all my varied abilities, and that while I could do absolutely anything I wanted to do for a living, from astronaut to zoologist, musician to physicist, brain surgeon, or anything in between, I would feel unsatisfied if I attempted to excel at only one.  I should, they told my parents, try many things, often at the same time!  That is a challenge, I must say! A person only has so many hours in a day, right?  So in my mid high school years, I had been provided with some uniquely useful insights, and then sought how best to use my many and varied talents.  My grades went up, and my life became much more fulfilling!

I won’t go into great detail, but I will affirm that over the years, I have worked at many, many different jobs, and enjoyed them all!  My resume is extreme! I’ve played in a band for 15 years, while working full time, and often worked on a degree part time.  I’m now even a professional SAG-AFTRA actor!  I’ve treated my learning phase as a life long objective, unsatisfied with the approach of our system of education, I have decided to mold myself after the archetype demonstrated by one of our most illustrious Presidents, Thomas Jefferson, who constantly studied his entire life!  Homework doesn’t end when you leave school, however advanced!  Once you graduate, it ALL becomes “homework”, and you’d best do yours or you will be left far behind, whatever your career choice!  Our house is full of advanced physics books, religious volumes, history books, encyclopedias, and many classical novels, and others, much to my wife’s chagrin!  

As it has developed, I have come to realize that MY career choice has been to simply work on becoming the very best version of “me” that I possibly can!  I have learned the truth of the often quoted aphorism “The road is always better than the Inn”, as observed by Cervantes.  It isn’t the “Thing” that you do for a living in this life that matters, it’s the “WHO” you have become; the bright light and love that you bring to those around you in life, whatever your livelihood, is ultimately ALL that matters!  So with this shining star of insight I leave you, my loving Tribe, knowing that there are many of you out there that I will never get to meet in this life, yet I love you no less for not having met your best, or current version of you!  Blessings always, with Love, Light, and Laughter!  Become the very best version of you that you can!  Namaste!

Life is...

Life is what we make of it.  IF you approach life as if it were an obstacle to be overcome... then it is.
IF you approach life as if it were a JOY to be celebrated...then it IS!  I approach life as if it were a joyful lesson, full of LIFE in ALL its aspects; the joy, pain, struggle, sorrow, grace, goodness, love, peace, hope, discord and harmony.  It is all of these things and more.  Many of our lessons are taught the hard way, with "tough love" if you will permit me the use of the term.  It is an aspect of life that many of the lessons we MUST learn are only truly learned the hard way.  So I accept the hard way, face the storm, push through it, and come out on the other side much more quickly, and perhaps with only a cold burned forehead and not a demolished body.  So one special lesson I take with me each day is that of the buffalo who faces the storm, walks through it, head and shoulders into the wind to come out into the crisp, clean air of the new day alive, invigorated, and ready to face another.  Blessings my friend, and may you, too, learn the way of Brother Buffalo.

Letting Life "BE"

Life is a challenge, isn't it!  Splendid, wonderful, and a challenge.  If it weren't what on EARTH would we learn?  That's it, too!  What would we learn?  If everything were just handed to us, we'd never be challenged, hence we would never work hard for anything.  We'd be expecting life to continue to just hand us things that we need or want whenever the demand arose, yet we would be the poorer for it, IF life actually worked that way. 

"Socialism" and "Communism" are like that.  They're systems of government and property ownership that tempt us precisely because they offer what they actually cannot provide anyone: "free" stuff.  EVERYTHING requires work; if not yours then someone else's.  So whenever you think you're going to get "free" stuff, think of it ONLY as a loss leader, because eventually someone MUST plant the seed that will grow more "stuff".  However, if everyone is convinced that the "stuff" is "FREE" then nobody will be motivated to "grow the stuff", or "produce", hence the core reason why "SOCIALISM" or "COMMUNISM" has always ... and by ALWAYS... I actually do mean "ALWAYS" ... FAILED!  It cannot succeed because the seeds of its demise exist at its very core.  Think on this, and eventually, you'll understand it. 

If the farmer plants his seeds and only others are ever allowed to harvest the crop (yet even the harvesters expect someone ELSE to actually DO the work of the harvest), then the farmer is never motivated to plant because he no longer has expectation of the benefits of a crop.  Eventually, everyone starves equally...THAT is the ultimate reward of "Socialism/Communism". 

So the next time you're offered something for "FREE", be sure to ALWAYS ask "...what is the REAL cost to me?"  Blessings my friend!

Simple Moments

Sometimes, it's the simplest moments that speak the most truth.  For example; when your child comes to you for a hug...just a hug, and nothing else.  Or when your dog rolls over just for a loving belly scratch; nothing else but a belly scratch.  Or when you look up into a splendid sunset and see a masterpiece painted by God alone, and it lasts for mere seconds.  Yes, you did get to see that.  Nope, you have no idea who else on the entire planet got to share that with you, and no, you didn't have a camera that could capture it...not in its entirety anyway.  So you're left feeling extraordinarily blessed because YOU, of all people alive in this moment, got to see that blessed event, share that splendid moment, feel that extraordinary expression of simple LOVE!  YES, YOU were there and IN that moment!  EXTRAORDINARY!

Learn to cultivate that...that feeling... that moment...that awareness.

That is where the true GOLD is found. Blessings my friend.  Thank you for being my friend!  I am blessed because you are alive in this moment.  Thank you!

Sacred Moments

"Wandering Wonderers" is the name of a short poem I wrote once.  I know it's incorrect to say it that way, but I'm asserting poetic license just to get the point across.  The point is to state that we should all become "wonderers" looking at the world with wide open, astonished eyes, accepting everything we see with gratitude and joy!  Excited at the prospect of what awaits us around the next corner, we should all be children holding hands and sharing the sparkling scent of roses and wildflowers everywhere we go.  Yet in our lives in this plane of existence we each experience walls built by others that prevent such simple celebrations of beauty.  Our task should become to tear down those walls, open the way between us, clear the channels, and share in the beauty of life.  We must become the change we wish to see in the world.  I wish for such beautific joy to fill each soul in this world that we will not want to make war against another for any reason.  War must be made obsolete. 

It actually is already, yet not enough of us 'know' this in our heart of hearts... YET!  So in this line of thought and meditation I direct you to a more honest assessment of why nations make war.  We do so because corrupt men and women in positions of power and trust direct us to do so. 

In our personal relationships we do not make war.  We build bridges.  We build bridges of understanding, patience, truth, trust, and love.  It is only when those attempts to build bridges fail utterly that we resort to violence, which is nothing more than personal "war".  We act in violence merely to defend our lives, the lives of our loved ones, our homes, our means of earning a living.

Nations however, choose war quite deliberately.  They obfuscate the truth of our shared human experience; our love of family, friends, neighbors, and "tribe".  They pit us against each other manipulating our understanding, distorting the truth, and only because to do so gives them more power over us, and others.  Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.  Who said that?  It was John Emerich Edward Dalberg-Acton, 1st Baron Acton, KCVO, DL (10 January 1834 – 19 June 1902)—known as Sir John Dalberg-Acton, 8th Baronet from 1837 to 1869 and usually referred to simply as Lord Acton. (from Wickipidea) 

Personally, I agree.  There is ample evidence throughout human history to support this conclusion.  So can we win in this battle?  America won.  So yes, I believe we can again, yet we must do so with pure hearts.

So how do "Sacred Moments" enter into this?  They are what give us vision.  Sacred moments are those that touch our very souls.  The moment your child first smiles at YOU...:  The first kiss you shared with your spouse...; the first time your child says "daddy" or "mommie".   Another might be the first time you tell your child that you are proud of them because of a task that they accomplished, or an obstacle overcome without your direct, personal assistance.  There are manifold "sacred moments" in our lives, and they live lives of their own within each of us.  They spark a thousand memories that play out like days, yet last only fleeting seconds, yet they speak of years of growth. 

These golden moments unite each of us in our shared human experience, blessing us with millenias of experience that confirm our understanding.  These are our "Sacred Moments". 

They can serve to unite us, not divide.  They are infinitely powerful, for they contain our hope, promise, glory, and honor.  They speak to our hearts in simple, honest, clean unobscured purity.

Therefore I say to celebrate our shared "Sacred Moments".  They hold our truest hope.  Blessings my friend!  Thank you for being my friend!  Share your "Sacred Moments".

Transitions

We all have transitions throughout life...many, many of them, and some are harder than others.  We're born, and that is a most harrowing transition, yet we manage, overcome, and prosper.  Next we grow, and each growth spurt can be painful.  Teeth growing in, legs and arms growing longer and stronger, muscle and bone stretching, forcing faster growth, and all of it hurts in its own way.  Then there is the inner, emotional growth, and the intellectual growth, and growing self awareness, and none of it is easy.  Awesome it is, and wonderful!  Then we must face another transition most feared; death.  The first touch of it in our lives draws its own unique mark upon our souls, forcing contemplation of our own finality in this life, this form.  My first encounter was the passing of President Kennedy, because it marked our entire family, our nation, and our nations soul.  I was 6 years old, and it hurt even then.  In my life my next experience was the passing of our dear little budgie named Blue. Just a little happy bird, but a dear little family member who lived a very long bird life in our home.  Most striking was the passing of one of my school mates who was hit by a car.  I imagined it over and over again and how horrible it must have been for his family. 

Eventually, you must confront the passing of a family member, and that is when the pain exceeds all else. It shreds your world, and what you once thought so permanent a relationship is stricken from this plane of existence, and you confront the transition in a new light.  This time it becomes much more personal, lonely, and shattering.  You know you must confront it, but to do so feels as if you'll lose yourself in a sea of sorrow.  One day though, you bear it, face it, embrace it, and let if flow through you, for your heart of hearts tells you that you must, and it will only fan the flame of love in your soul for the one you've lost.  Grief waters the loving kindness in your heart, and a new passion will arise from the ashes of the life lost, yet never truly lost.  The heart lives on, the spirit, the essence, nothing is lost.  They are eternal, as are you! 

The greatest blessing in the passing of a grandparent, parent, or child, is that you live their lives over again each day in your heart, hearing again their voices in song, prayer, gleeful laughter, and joyous whispers of their divine spark that made them so very special.  This strange and wonderful contradiction will dawn on you one day if it hasn't already, and will overtake you, reframing your perspective, enlightening your spirit, bringing yet unheralded wisdom in its wake; wisdom that will quiet your fears, teaching you grace through what can be your most difficult transition.

So when next you encounter this most challenging transition, remember this; we are eternal beings captured for a moment in time in a fragile yet exquisite temporal body.  We are souls made more perfect by each trial, tribulation, song and dance we joyously engage ourselves in, so we must live life in all its manifestations, learning anew the eternal Song of Songs.  Blessings to you my friend, in all your struggles and celebrations!  Remember to always love, because it is the one most important task that we each have in this life.

The Child's Mind

In my life I learned of the concept of having The Child's Mind from my studies in world religions and martial arts.  I'm certain many disciplines share the concept, but in different expressions of it. In short it is to view life as would a child, accepting all life brings with a simple elegant honesty and joy.  Child's Mind means to have an open heart, mind, and spirit to accept whatever life delivers to you to experience in its fullness. Embracing love, joy, pain, challenges and successes with the same grace and curiosity of a child.  Learning from each experience and savoring each for the richness it brings to your life is the essence of Child's Mind.  So this day it is my fervent prayer and hope for you, my friend, to discover what it is to live in The Child's Mind.  I have found it to be the greatest gift I've discovered on how to view each day.  Sometimes I stumble, I forget to view everything with the eyes of a child.  When I do forget, I am reminded to think on it again from the simpler view of the Child's Mind, and I rediscover roses blooming in obscure corners of hidden gardens, humming birds flitting through the air with matchless grace and beauty, and the subtle singing of song birds on quiet air telling me to remember that I, too, am a Child of God, as are all of God's creatures.  It fills my heart with joy unbounded, and lightens my often heavy heart to be reminded of the beauty of creation, and the love of our Creator for each of us.  Blessings my friend!  Enjoy Life and all of its lessons!